Sunday, October 13, 2013

Terminator's Wrath II - The Sweet Spot

He licked me while I came hard onto his face, moaning, rocking and pushing into his mouth until came hard, holding his head so his tongue could get deep inside me.
He stayed between my thighs and immediately started licking me again. slow dirty licks that covered my pussy from top to bottom. How nice, I thought, relaxing into it. Then I remembered.

I have a sweet spot. If done properly, stimulation of this spot can drive me out of my mind with pleasure. Terminator discovered it (of course) soon after we met; not an inch of my body has escaped his lustful attention. It's to the right of my clit, at about 2 o'clock position. just inside my labia. A little area the size of a quarter or half-dollar that turns me into a wet and horny multi-orgasmic bitch in heat.
Stroking softly but firmly (it's a delicate balance) with his tongue or his finger just on that juicy spot causes a divinely itchy horny orgasmic sensation so urgent and delicious all I want is more and to come. The harder and faster the stroking, the wetter, the hornier I become, with an insanely delicious itch to be scratched in that spot, continuously, god, yes, yes yes.

Stroking it causes arousal and orgasm at the same time. Wave after wave of seizure-like orgasms roll through me that are incredibly powerful. Sometimes I need to fuck immediately afterward because my pussy convulses so hard it's painful until she gets fucked.

The Terminator's tongue was on my sweet spot, killing me with short, hard strokes while he teased my clit with his other hand. His mouth didn't move from my pussy; His stroking tongue felt so good I was gasping, grunting. I opened my legs wider, grinding against his tongue, and that sweet, hot, itchy friction (stroke-stroke-stroke) that then turned into shaking shuddering convulsions. And when he fingered my clit as I came, I screamed so loud I thought I would bring down the rafters.
I was so wet my that moisture spread down to my thighs. Terminator's tongue didn't stop stroking, not for a second. "No, please," I pleaded. It was too intense. I thought maybe I could have an actual seizure. He didn't even look up.

He kept tonguing my little sweet spot and I couldn't think straight, fuck it felt so good. I was so wet and juicy I could tell his face was drenched with me. My hips started meeting the stroke, pushing against it, wanting it harder, omg my clit was so swollen - harder, yes, yes yes. I opened for him like a bitch in heat. My hand moved to the back of his neck so I could rub, and grind, and get that stroke-that stroke-that stroke, yes yes yes yes YES [insert bestial scream here].

He didn't stop when I came the first time, or the third time, or the sixth time. He would stop the stroke for a minute or so  and then increase the intensity, licking my sweet spot hard, steadily, relentlessly until I was shoving my pussy hard toward that delicious friction, until that sweet stroke was all I cared about and everything I wanted. I shoved my pussy harder into his face, grinding clit into his face, and I felt one of his fingers (or two) slide inside me. Oh fuck yes! And when he started stroking my g-spot, I started howling. Yes, howling.  The convulsions began again. I lost count of how many times I came, but Terminator tightened his hold on me, so he wouldn't kick or shove him off me in the throes of orgasm.

His hands felt like iron but his tongue was a soft sweet torture. I don't know how many more times I came with his mouth welded to that spot, but I had my thighs around his head, screaming don't stop, out of my mind because I don't give a fuck I just want to come as hard as much as possible, when all of a sudden he stops. I'm so focused on my pussy that I'm about to put my hands to my spot myself when he stops me. I look at him like, "you're kidding, right? I need to come."
He looks at me, his face covered with my juice and his face slightly amused. He takes his dick in his hands as if to remind me, and strokes himself slowly as he looks at me and says quietly: "Spread your legs and bend your knees."  I can't take my eyes off of his tool, which is the biggest I've ever seen it. I'm scared and excited, scared mostly at his demeanor.

He gets up from the bed and goes to get something from a drawer. And this is when I realize that he really is going to tie me up. Or tie me down as he says. Which is dominant as fuck because most people say tie you up. Tying someone down is about immobilizing them and controlling them. I trust Terminator, but I'm wondering how upset with me he is.

When he comes back, he has two sets black cuffs in his hands, each chained to a strap. I try not to freak out.  He puts on end of the strap around my thigh and the cuff chained to it around my wrist. The chain in between is around three inches long.

Coming soon: Terminator's Wrath III: Punishment

Friday, September 27, 2013

Terminator's Wrath

The reunion (see next post) happened because in late July I lost my mind and broke up with J. again. I will spare you the details except to say that I had another anxiety attack after our first anniversary. Deep down I knew that our relationship was reaching a deeper level and I panicked. That's what happens when you've never experienced total and unconditional love. You suspect it. You mistrust it. You're afraid of it. You think it will destroy you in the end, so you destroy it first.  J. knows me and understands me and loves me deeply. He knew what the deal was, and we reconciled after a couple of weeks. As you will see in the post below we are more in love than ever.

But first, this happened:
Twenty-four hours after I broke up with J. I received an email from the Terminator. When I saw it in my inbox I screamed and laughed out loud. It was very late on a Friday night, I had just come home after a night out and checked my email before going to bed. Ha.

The subject line read "missing you."  The message itself was brief: a picture of his shirtless torso flexing his abs and another of his beautiful erect cock. I thought this was unnecessary. I mean, I wasn't likely to forget what his cock looked like. And the caption under it: "I hope I'm not still cut off."
Cocky bastard, I thought then laughed at the unintended pun.

The timing was uncanny.  It was as if he had my phone tapped. I didn't tell him anything about the break-up and yes, I would be fucking him as soon as humanly possible. In my mind Terminator was the perfect way to launch myself into single-hood and back to Planet Me, where I could fuck anyone I pleased.

As usual, Terminator came to the door freshly bathed and with a towel around his waist. He takes my hand and pulls me inside. We are both smiling and silent as he leads me up the stairs. When we get to the bedroom he takes my bag, tosses it on a chair and begins to undress me. His face is serious, the smile gone. I can feel the desire radiating from him in waves like electrified heat. The look on his face astonishes me. Blatant love. Hurt. Anger. I move closer to him and in a flash, all emotion is gone from his face.

He meticulously unbuttons and unzips me until I'm standing naked before him. He lowers his eyes to my dark red toenails and they travel up my tanned legs and along the curve of my hip, to my stomach, breasts and up to my lips and eyes in a lustful caress. His gaze feels like fingertips grazing my skin. I have goosebumps when he embraces me for a deep kiss. But surprise. I can't kiss him as before because I still had feeling for J. At that point J and I were over. My heart was protesting but I was determined to move on as soon as possible.
 If Terminator notices this, he says nothing. He buries his face in the hollow of my throat, and guides me towards the bed.

As we sink into the pillows his mouth moves to my breasts, which he teases mercilessly with his tongue and lips as his hand moves to my pussy and softly plays around my clit. I'm lost in the sensations as his head moves down between my legs. His tongue invades me softly but ignites my hunger for more of his mouth, of his tongue, of his cock.  He is kissing, licking and nuzzling the area around my clit, kissing my pussy from north to south but ignoring my increasingly engorged clit. He is interested in the rest of my pussy and when I try to guide his head to my clit grips my wrist hard, so hard I gasp, and moves it away from his head. I'm vaguely aware of his tongue sliding out of me (I try to grind against him but he won't let me). I feel him watching me and I open my eyes and smile, shoving my pussy in his direction, in case he's forgotten my clit. My hand is about to go to my rescue, but he stops me. His hands slide under my ass and squeeze hard. "Spread your knees," he says. I obey. As my pussy spreads beneath him, already wet and swollen from his attention, he gives me a look that excites and frightens me. "I'm going to tie you down and then I'm going to make you come over and over until you beg for mercy. And you will beg. Do you trust me?" He licked me like a lollipop.
I smiled and melted under him. He pinched my ass. "Do you trust me?"
"Yes."  Whatever, I thought. Just don't stop licking me.

To be continued

Monday, September 2, 2013

Reunited: Heat Advisory

He opened the door wrapped in a towel. I laughed, but his serious gaze silenced me as he pulled me inside and shut the door behind me. I was about to say something but his mouth landed on mine and crushed the words out of me.

The hot intensity of his kisses literally took my breath away. He crushed me against against his bare chest with one hand and tore my dress off with the other. He was practically lifting me off the floor, as he whipped me around towards the bedroom.

"Baby -- " but his kisses burned my words away. Soft and tender lips conveyed his intention to fuck seriously and immediately.

I'm not sure how I landed on the bed, but suddenly his mouth left mine, and I watched, kind of stunned and increasingly excited as he ripped (and I mean ripped) my panties off (my favorite violet lace! ) and tossed them across the bedroom, then dove face first into my pussy. I screamed. His mouth landing on me like that was a shock. But then...

He melted me with his hunger and tenderness. His tongue and lips spoke to me, loved me, aroused me and caressed me. Everything he didn't say in words he was saying with his insistent tongue, his warm and tender lips. He missed me, he was dying for me. He was drinking me in like water in the desert.

I stroked his head between my legs as his tongue brought me closer and closer to nirvana...but he held me there not letting me come until I was groaning in protest, straining against him. He slid up my trembling body and kissed me, deeply. I could taste myself on his lips, which drives me crazy. I was humping him and I felt his engorged cock against my wet pussy. I could feel his pulse against my clit.

He broke the kiss, and looked at me. "What?" he whispered against my ear. He kissed my neck, and started pinching on of my nipples, almost making me come again. I was rubbing against him and I was so hot that we were both wet and I could feel my distended clit pulsating. I was right on the edge and he was fucking with me, not fucking me, and not letting me come. Had he said something? "Hm?" I asked, because who could talk?

"What?" he whispered. I was practically coming already, trying to get him inside me, but he kept dodging me.

He stopped pinching my nipple and started sucking it very, very softly. Oh my god. "Fuck me," I moaned. "Please."

And then he rammed his beautiful cock slowly into me, and I started coming almost immediately, grabbing his ass, because I wanted him deep, deep inside me when my pussy went into convulsions. Then he started slamming me mercilessly, savagely, hurting me, using me, claiming me, punishing me. Even in the blaze of desire I understood what he was saying. I had been absent too long.

He thrust harder and deeper than he ever had before, and every thrust made my pussy close around him like a velvet glove, driving us both wild. It was like we couldn't fuck hard enough or deep enough. He threw my legs over his shoulders so he could hit me more deeply, and we became frenzied, (I realized I still had my heels on), thrusting at each other like beasts, screaming and grunting until we both came like tornadoes, thrusting, hitting and convulsing.
Five hours later
It's dark. The bed looks like a storm hit, and we are tangled together in the middle of it, naked and covered in sweat.  "Don't leave me again." He says, when he catches his breath.
"Never." I say. I mean it. I lean in to smell the scent of his skin. Mmmmmm. I'm drunk from him, dazed and unquestionably in love.

I'm speaking to, I am in bed with J. my boyfriend. The summer was full of surprises.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

A New Kind of Harlotry

I will miss writing here about my exploits fucking around and exploring and enjoying my long-dormant sexuality. It's been a journey of self-discovery and sexual awakening that took me to the last place I expected to be -- hot monogamy.
Powerful sexuality is something many women hide or downplay from the men in their lives for fear of being judged. Being perceived as a slut, a whore or portrayed as crazy or insatiable are all weapons used to oppress our sexuality drive, and it has worked so well over the centuries that many women can't enjoy sex even when they try. I want to help turn that around.

Much to my joy, monogamy doesn't mean that I'm no longer sexually adventurous. It does mean that I won't be writing about it. We're having a great time, and I look forward to a long and horny relationship.

This won't be the end of Adventures in  Harlotry. I want to use this space to talk about sex and female sexuality, particularly for women over 40, whose sexuality is ignored by the media. I want Adventures in Harlotry to be a place where our sexuality is acknowledged and celebrated. I hope to write about a wide variety of topics, interview experts and talk about all sorts of things sexual (including the psychology of sexuality). I want all women to own their sexuality and and wear it proudly. 
Have a question or issue you'd like me to write about? Ask!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

A New Kind of Love

I remember the exact moment that I felt J. had filled my heart and soul so deeply that there was no point in continuing fucking the Terminator or anyone else. Like Terminator had done with his dick a year ago, J. made every other man irrelevant with his dick and his heart. Game over.

I had spent a transformative weekend with J., being loved, cherished and taken care of in a way that I had never experienced before. Just being together is like a drug. We can curl up together on a sofa or a bed and inhale each other, and caress each other for hours -- for days and barely need food, our contentment is so complete.

That weekend I realized how his love, friendship and emotional support had sparked my dormant creativity. I was full of ideas and strategies for stalled projects, and found solutions for problems that I hadn't been able to figure out. I was stupidly surprised, and on my way home that weekend, I realized that it was J.'s unconditional love and support -- something I had never experienced - that had sparked my creativity. Love, a supportive environment and complete acceptance had nurtured my creativity in a way that shocked me. Love, just love made so much possible. I had no idea. My heart turned over, and I cried.

There was no way I would meet the Terminator that week, as planned. Just the thought of it was like "what the hell am I doing?" I have no need or desire to see him -- the depth and power of J.'s love just canceled everything and everyone else out. I really didn't want to see Terminator again and didn't even plan a last meeting. Of course I was sentimental about him and of course his...ok his huge dick would be missed, but J. and I had sexual heat and deep love. No contest.

But even I couldn't quite believe I could give up the Cock of the Century so suddenly and completely. I waited. Two, almost three weeks. I was done. Yes I was sentimental about him, could probably cry about him if  I put some effort into it, but I didn't want to fuck him or be with him. I was head-over-heels in love, which was the last thing I wanted or expected when all this began. But it's so sweet, and so beautiful.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Terminator: Ending Tenderly

After the breakthrough I experienced and the decision I made to end it with the Terminator, I waited a couple of weeks before telling him, to see if I experienced that desire for him that  was so familiar. I wanted to be sure. And really, I was (and am) happy, content and satisfied with J. and don't want anyone else. 
Although class and good manners dictate that I should have broken it off in person, I didn't want to. I was done and I didn't want to prolong it.  So I wrote:

Dear ----,
I should be saying this to you in person or on the phone at least, and I'm sorry about that. I wanted to spare us both.What happened between us physically and emotionally was beyond extraordinary (in my experience) and because of that I will never, ever forget you. You brought my body and soul back to life, literally, after a long period of darkness.I wish you all the love and happiness in the world, and I hope that you achieve all your dreams and find the love that you deserve.
Love, -----

The next day he responded:

Just received your message; funny i was just thinking to myself, "wow she hasn't texted or called me"  I kind of figured this was coming.  I thought i would get the send off with me making u squirt all over my sheets lol.  I'll miss all the wild things we never got to do; one thing most of all  ;-).  I loved pleasuring every inch of your body and will think about it often. I hope all goes well in your relationship, I'm always happy to see someone find love.
I love u and will miss u always.

It's been over a month, and I am sure I made the right decision. J and I are closer and more passionate than ever (we couldn't wait but of course we play protected); and when I think of Terminator, and I do -- it's not with yearning or desire, but with sweet nostalgia.  He was a beautiful way to get to learn what I needed to learn.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Learning Part -- Breakthrough: The End of Terminator

If you had told me that I would feel this way and be in this place a month ago, I would have laughed, or looked at you in astonishment. But here I am, happily announcing that I am done, yes DONE with the Terminator. It's over. Ironic that this month marks a year since we first met. What a year.

No I haven't told him yet, but I don't expect a big drama about it. I think on some level we both knew it at our last meeting because we fucked each other with merciless savagery. And I say that with a smile on my face. But yes, I'm done. How? Why?  It's not that I don't enjoy fucking him, obviously I do. A lot. It's just that my feelings for J. have over-
ridden everything else. Sex with
Terminator is of course amazing, but so is sex with J., and our emotional connection is deep and intense. Being held by J. is practically a religious experience. I feel deeply loved. Calm. Happy. Satisfied. And so Terminator has become unnecessary. Incredible but true.

I have waited to post about this because I wanted to be sure that I really felt this way and that I meant it, and I do. I expected a wave of  emotion and desire to rise up at some point and compel me to contact him, but nothing. I'm done. just like that, after all the angst and the tears. Two weeks have passed without a tryst, I don't want one and I'm fine with it. And no one is more surprised than I am.

I am thankful for the passion that we've shared, and I am a little sentimental about ending things with someone whom I've shared such passionate intensity, but I have no regrets. I did surprise myself the decision. After my last weekend with J., I came back and knew in my gut that I was done with Terminator. I am well-loved and in love.

I think Terminator and J. came into my life at the same time (within months), so that I could see, finally, the unhealthy pattern I had of falling for men who are unavailable somehow inappropriate, and emotionally remote, contrasted with the very healthy and beautiful thing that is real love, real acceptance, real devotion, from J. I knew something important was happening with J. the moment I met him, even though I had never experienced it, and even though I had strong feelings for Terminator at the time.

I needed that time with both of them to learn from them as well as from my reactions to them.  My intense immediate feelings for Terminator were partly oxytocin and partly my usual unhealthy pattern. What a difference this slow burn with J. has been. Every day it becomes more meaningful and intense. The best way I can describe it is that J. is inside my heart. That's how it feels. He is with me always. He has been unwaveringly devoted, kind as well as passionate and wonderful in every way.

Now I see that its important that I walk away from Terminator willingly, not when my six months are up, but because I'm ready to give him up and turn away from my destructive pattern and accept real love and devotion into my life.

Obviously, this outcome is not what I envisioned when I started this blog, but I knew I was working something out with the sexual exploration. The last thing on my mind was settling down with anybody, and the whole idea of a "relationship" gave me hives.  Been there, done that, over it.  I basically wanted to fuck who I wanted, when I wanted and live my life. What's wrong with that?

But love. WARNING: Cliché Approaching:  Love changes everything.  J.'s love is something I feel with every cell in my body, and my love for him is something that I've never experienced. Quiet, profound and intense. I came back from spending the weekend with him and I realized I had no desire or intention to see Terminator or anyone else. Game over.

So is J. "The One?" I know that it would take something/one extraordinary to make me give up my precious freedom at this point in my life. Sometimes extraordinary things last and sometimes they don't, but they are always wonderful. So I'm enjoying it, nurturing it and taking it one day at a time.